October 19th

I lost my dad 2 years ago tomorrow morning and I’m not sure how I’m going to deal with it. Facebook loves reminding you that “2 years ago you were...”  and sometimes these memories can be extremely painful and can bring you right back to that time or place and remind you of exactly how you were feeling at that moment.

So two years ago today I was spending the night at Huntington Memorial Hospital with my mom at my dad’s bedside. He had been there for 11 days and fell into a sleeping coma so we knew there wouldn’t be much more time. We told him we loved him and that his dog just died that day so she would be there waiting for him.

I remember telling him he could go. That I would be okay. That mom would be okay. Maybe he heard me, maybe he didn’t. But I was more at peace knowing I had at least verbalized all of these thoughts and feelings to him. The next morning he took his last breaths with my mom holding his left hand and me holding his right hand and his best friend Al looking on at the foot of his hospital bed.

I loved my dad. He wasn’t the most politically correct or well spoken man, but he was certainly encouraging and always funny! He was always the life of the party, full of obnoxious comments, and joyful laughter. He always told me I had his social skills and my mom’s smarts and that I could literally do anything that I set my mind to! 

But my world seemed to crash in on me when we lost him. I wasn’t prepared at all for the emotions I experienced. They say you can’t begin to comprehend the feeling of loosing a parent until it happens to you. I feel as if a piece of me died that day too. 

So on the eve of this second anniversary I already am crying, processing and most importantly, remembering. Remembering the good times. The light, the laughter and the positivity that my dad had to share with this world. 

-Crystal Olguin

October 18, 2017