Modern Family

The holidays have been hard for me since my dad passed away. The joint cooking, the tree decorating, the drinks and all of the jokes - all history now. A thing of the past. My version of a “normal” Christmas or Thanksgiving are just memories now. Memories that I cherish with all my heart. 

Me, my grandma and my dad on Christmas Day 1994.  

So where will Mike and I be this Christmas?! I don’t know yet. We are working on making our own traditions and plans, especially because my mom has a boyfriend this year.

This has been so hard for me to talk about because I am still grieving and changes are really emotionally difficult for me. It’s hard seeing someone tinkering around the yard in my dad’s old fishing shirt, someone who is not my father that is. I know my mom is happy, but everything has moved so fast since this Fall (at least to me.) 

So how do others handle these mixed family situations? Sure, other parents get divorced and remarry and have new “modern” families and holidays often bring these groups together. And I’m a grown woman and should be more accepting, open and even thankful for my mother’s new found happiness. But something in my heart is preventing me from being this caring, supportive daughter I wish I could be. 

My immediate thoughts are to run away for a snowy adventure, a magical night of lights and decorations, or a movie theater where we can be whisked away by a story that is not our own. We can literally do anything we want! So although I always look forward to the holidays, our traditions may be changing around this year to accommodate the situation.   

I hope you too will treasure the moments you share with your loved ones, remember those who are no longer here to celebrate and also create brand new traditions that you can continue to enjoy throughout the years! Have a very Merry Christmas friends! And even though you’re not here, I love you dad!

My dad, Tipsy and I Christmas Day 2013. 

-Crystal Olguin

December 23, 2017