The challenge topic for today is; discuss your relationship.

Crystal and I go way back to 1999. We worked together at the student union at Cal State LA. We were both in other relationships that were drifting apart, so there was a certain comfort we had with one another. We talked about the trials and tribulations of our relationships, school, and adventures with friends. As school became more and more prevalent in our lives, we grew closer.

After awhile we started dating, fell in love and we were practically glued together. We changed colleges a few times but always got every class together. With only a couple exceptions. We usually worked together on campus, or in the case of Disney, even off-campus. We had our first job as photographers together right after college. When that didn't work out, we had to get separate jobs for the first time.

This, having to work separate nonsense didn't occur until the year of our Lord 2007. A lot of you probably couldn't imagine being with your partner every moment of every day with few exceptions, for seven years. We loved that though. We always had a foundation of talking things through working off each other's strengths. Of making it through the hard stuff and reveling in the good stuff. 

For better or worse, we became two halves. We have written in the last few posts about our troubles and worries and failures. If you read the post from a few days ago, we've had some major failures. Even when things get tough, at the end of the day, we help each other.

We realized we are in deed two parts of one functioning brain.  Implying we're only half-brained by default sounds kind of dramatic, but we realized not only do we not show individuality outwardly, but we just don't have much of it to begin with. I think this blog is helping us find our own voice, as well as doing something together.

Why do we write about the negative stuff even though it's embarrassing or personal? It's mostly for us. I feel better explaining myself as I figure things out rather than just talking to others about it one on one. Also, I didn't want us to seem like one of those couples who try to seem perfect on social media. Before you fall out of your seat laughing, yes Crystal loves to put our best foot forward through social media. 

But most of what you see is genuine. Sure there's been a few exceptions, a few times when maybe I’ve been annoyed at the Shutterbugg buzzing around once or twice. But we have been very fortunate. We’ve gone to many cool places with each other and with many cool people. We may do all these amazing things but were real people too. I think putting the good and the bad out there makes us more human. 

Thinking about it, I guess I never really got over finally having to work separate from Crystal way back in 2007. It's been ten years, and I still miss seeing Crystal 24/7. Just imagine someone who's been by your side since the dawn of the new century. We opened California Adventures together, and we woke up to the news of 9/11 when that went down. We watched the world and our Friends change so much in that time. I guess since we did everything together in college, we somehow assumed the real world would be just the same. Together for everything all the time. Looks so crazy in type, but makes sense to us.

I've mentioned before that; last year just after I quit drinking for good, my head cleared and I felt like a time traveler in a new time where people and things have really changed. We have changed a lot too. 

The one thing that hasn't though is how much we love each other. Not just the high school type romantic stuff, but as we got older on a different level. It's a much more all encompassing love. A partnership as well as a couple. People talk about the "thrill" going away, but that's not true, it just changes. After a long time living together, sure you see the gross stuff each other does and yeah romance isn't always the first thing on your mind like when you were young. 

But for me, there are certain moments or something she says or does where I see her as that beautiful young college student coming to pick me up for a night on the town. When I catch a flicker of that memory, I remember that feeling. The sense of being a young man in love and excited for new adventures. I bear in mind that circumstances and things can change on the outside, but that deep down a part of us is still those hopeful young folks. So bright, cheerful and full of love.

Things have been moving in the right direction, and we are closer than ever. We almost always enjoy each others company. The downside of being so close is that it is possible to be together and still be lonely sometimes. It's hard to meet new friends at this age, and most of our existing friends have families, obligations, live far away or intentionally forgot us. 

I know what you're thinking. 
We've been married for five years, together for 17 years, so yes people ask us if we will ever have a family. We are still in a place in our own lives that when we hear of a friend making an announcement, our first reaction is still that nervous gasp sound followed with an “oh no! what are they going to do?” feeling. Then we remember; oh wait they're old enough to have wanted this to happen. 

I at least don't oppose the idea of a small family on its face value; it just seems like a bit much for us. We were prone to act irresponsibly in past days. We're not financially stable enough for that; the list goes on. Crystal has a lot of responsibility in her job to start but, she also trains new people and goes around helping everyone fix their issues. Then she has to come home to me. Since not exactly known for being super mature, she usually feels tired. Like she's been taking care of kids all day. 

I don't know that we have the mental and emotional bandwidth for a family. We have too much to do. We have to catch up to the people we should be for our age first. I understand time is running out for that and it does make me think. Maybe if situations improve and soon, we would feel better about at talking about it. That's all I have left to say on that.

It's hard to surmise anything right now. Between the changes in our lives and the craziness in the news, it feels like life is mid page turn. On to the next thing, but not sure what happens next. There is now the wind in our sails, and we're moving forward, together with the unknown over the horizon. 

I'm not sure where we go from here, only that we are trying our best and helping each other. I am certain of one thing though, how much I love Crystal. I always knew she was going to be the best photographer, but I'm impressed with what a strong, worldly, and capable woman she's has become. She's even learning to cook as well as me. I'm on my way to finding myself too. No matter what the future brings our love and a passion for what we do will see us through no matter who, what, or where is on the other side of that horizon. 

-Mike Olguin

Turning 36 years old just last month, I have realized that exactally half of my life I have been with my Mike! That's crazy to think about, but time is going faster and my hubby and I have grown even closer over these past two years!

Our relationship has gone through several twists and turns, but through it all we have never stopped loving one another. Each life experience has been an incredible opportunity to learn from it and grow. We had our first jobs together (where we met), we carpooled for years (in the Nissan we still own), we graduated college with one another (literally walking hand in hand down the stage together), we partied with one another (besides the occasional girls night we seriously have been to like every party/function together), and have literally grown up and experienced the world with each other to lean on every step of the way.

Mike is my best friend, thru thick and thin and literally the love of my life. I couldn't imagine any period of my adult life without him there. He got me to eat vegetables for the first time when I was 18, I taught him how to drive a car, he taught me how to cook, I tutored him in college math, and he bought me my first professional camera. But it's beyond that. We have always lifted each other up when the other was down. When we were poor, or sad, or drunk, or stressed, we were there to boost spirits, give hugs or pat each other on the back and remind us that everything was going to be okay.

It's a tough world out there, but when you have another half (which we took entirely too literally in our youth - like attached at the hip other half) then you know when your partner's down, you need to be the strong one. Underneath it all, I think we were stronger than we ever knew. And of course there will be more challenges ahead, but with the love that we have for one another and the tools we've learned to use, I know that we can weather through any storm together. I love my husband Mike and we have so much more to persue and experience!

Sorry for the mushiness. I blame the topic! But the message should be; not to only count on your spouse, but love and support them too. And don't let the little things stand in your way of making each other great! 

Love love love, 

-Crystal Olguin

August 10, 2017